Flower Child
by MysticSpiritus
Summary: Hades wanted a mage for his tournaments; more importantly, a mage who wears a codpiece out in public. Whoopsie, he got the prisoner instead, and she firmly believes she's not a villain. So where does that leave the mage? Hopefully not on the receiving end of the Great Ninja Yuffie and her relentless search for a man with a goatee.


Mystic: My husband popped Kingdom Hearts in the other day and well, here we are. Enjoy yourselves and don't forget to leave a nice review.

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**Flower Child**

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"Hmph, didn't expect that to screw up."

Flames danced on Hades' head as he scratched his chin. The latest villain to enter his arena didn't really look like a villain. She looked more like the good witch's cousin twice removed from the family plot. As he stared at the woman, passed out though she was on the arena grounds, he noticed all the other specifically male eyes ogling the curves and soft blonde hair. Hell, she was kinda cute. The corset and ankle-length skirt gave away her world's age.

"Back off mongrels! She's not the one we want!"

Sephiroth leaned against the wall, his sword safely sheathed. "Why would you even want anyone else?"

"I wanted a warlock, Mr. Cool-and-compensating-for-something."

That sword did not, _did not_, compensate for anything. Sephiroth growled and gleefully imagined decapitating the entire lot of Hades' minions. Included in that line-up was a fellow swordsman whose blade resembled a surfboard and hair a chocobo's behind.

"Oh, hey! She's a conjure woman. That's not half-bad." Hades picked up on her aura when he stood over her limp body. Upon closer inspection (that is, hovering really close to her face in a creepy I-watch-you-when-you-sleep mode), he shook his head, flames still flying and dancing. "Nope, nope, take that back. Fae folk. Eh."

Sephiroth grew a curiosity level. "In what world do fae even exist?"

"What little is left of hers. Now take her to my office instead of standing there like a case for Mr. Freud." He raised to his full height, shouted at a non-important minion of non-descript character. "Someone locate a file on the broad! Oh, and a drink!"

It was truly beneath Sephiroth's stature to scoop up another in his arms like a firefighter, or dare he think it, a knight. Well, he apparently did dare, and he suppressed a shudder. At least she was a lightweight. Hm, wonder what it would be like to run her through the stomach ...?

"Don't you even try!" Hades yelled. Thankfully, Sephiroth didn't hear the Lord of the Underworld mutter, "stupid mama's boy." People forget that Hades sees all and knows all - most of the time.

The continuous raise of voices was enough to jar the woman out of her comatose state of being. Bright eyes blinked a few times, then focused on the face of a disconcerting, yet full-of-himself warrior.

She screamed and scrambled out of his arms. One word left her mouth as she ran for the nearest exit.

"KUJA!"

"Yes, that's the warlock's name! Thank you, dollface."

xxx

Despite the screams and scrambling, accidentally elbowing Sephiroth in the ribs, Hades treated his guest with a bit of civility. "What kind of tea do you want, babe? You fae folk are all about the tea and stuff. Do you want the flowers, the roots, the -"

"Where is my warden?" the woman asked, voice clear and light. His office, with its cobwebs, dust, and statues of various torture-devices, was not the most welcoming. Rusted chains wrapped around his filing cabinet. "We were separated by those shadow creatures, the Heartless. If he is dead, then please tell me lest I go mad with worry for him."

Hades blinked. "Huh, that still doesn't explain why I got you instead of him. Look, why don't you sit down, I'll make you that hot beverage and we'll look into the matter of your husband."

"Warden, my lord. Kuja is my _warden_, not my husband."

"Seriously, what's the difference? Both involve a ball and chain." At her deadpanned expression, he waved his hands in a mocking gesture. "Okay, okay, okay. Eesh, last time I attempt any humour with you, er ..." Hades picked up the single file on his desk and opened to the first sheet of paper. "Hilda Fabool. Thanks for the respect, by the way. I don't always get that around here."

"I couldn't imagine why," she said.

"Ah, you turned your actual husband into an oglop. Let me guess, he forgot your anniversary?" That wasn't humour, if anyone asked.

Hilda breathed, shoulders square. "He had an affair and I'd rather not discuss it."

"Yes, it's all right here in your file."

"My lord, please. I would like information on Kuja."

"Alright, alright. Let me get the warlock's file." Hades crossed over the rusty filing cabinet. After rummaging for a few seconds, he revealed a file that sparkled with magic of the silver glitter variety. "Um ... that's not normal."

A smile crossed the lady's face. "Kuja is not what anybody would say is normal. Might I ask why you insist on referring to him as a warlock? Warlock implies male witch, and there isn't anything witchy about him."

"Seriously?" asked Hades, slamming Kuja's file down on his desk. With a wave of his hand, the file opened to a tastefully drawn photograph. "Are you sure he's not a gal? I mean, his hair is prettier than mama's boy out there."

"I assure you, my lord. Kuja is very male."

She might have meant for the sentence to be modest or innocent, but Hades noticed a glimmer in her eyes and a quirk of her lips. Those two little signs hinted of activity not intended for minors under the age of eighteen. Well, unless they were in a parked gummi ship in the boondocks of nowhere. And especially if the boy promised _without a doubt_ to call the girl back. "Sure, I'll take your word for it." He read a minute, mumbled to himself. "Lessee, a genome, Angel of Death, madman in a codpiece -"

"That last description is mine."

Hades lifted an eyebrow. "Huh, aren't you the observant one." He continued to read a few lines down. "Yup, as I suspected."

"Is he alive?"

"Heart beating, blood pumping, tail swishing."

"Thank the heavens."

"Joy. A religious fae."

Hilda scowled. "For the Lord of the Dead, you are not very helpful."

"Because you two aren't really dead, now are you?" It was then that he saw her fingers twitch. Earth magic, straight from the plants that gave lifeforms the ability to breathe. Perhaps offering to manifest a cup of herbal tea might not be the greatest of ideas. She sat poised in front of his desk with her legs crossed and hands in her lap. Her noble demeanor didn't really fool him. "Calm your aura down, sweetheart. I'm trying to pinpoint why exactly you're here in his place. Tell me, Miss Hilda, _what connection_ do you have to the warlock?"

Another quirk tugged at her lips. "I honestly don't believe that's any of your business," she finally said, a blush playing at her cheeks. "I'd rather you tell me why you even want him."

"For the tournaments, sweetheart. I need all the villains I can get my hands on." He cocked his head to the side, eyed her up and down. "You're a decent villain. How are you at offensive magic, pretty little fae?" A deep chuckle resonated in his throat, and Hilda forgot to breathe. "That's what he called you, didn't he? It's right here in the files."

She twitched her fingers again, but lost the concentration. "I'm no villain." Her voice was a mere whisper.

"Let's examine that, shall we?" With a snap of his fingers, both files opened of their own accord. "Refusal to accept your husband's mistress as per cultural norms ..."

"That's barbaric!"

" ... practicing blood magic."

"That's a lie!" Hilda protested. "I only dabble!"

Hades snorted. "Grand theft airship ..."

"The ship was named for me! It's rightfully mine!"

He shook his head. "Nag all you want, but the facts lay it out. I mean, you're not at the level of Maleficent; witches be crazy, whoa - anyway, let's get you a contract set up." Several pages of terms and conditions appeared on his desk, a black feather pen materialized in his palm. "Sign here, initial here, and surrender your first-born child, if you please."

"No, I don't think I will. The last time I signed a contract, I ended up in a very unhappy marriage."

"And whose fault is that? You didn't tolerate your husband's mistress. Now, I'd love to learn how you turned him into an oglop. Did you need his blood, your blood, or the blood of a sacrificial goat?" He poised his black feather pen over a sheet of paper to write it all down. "Go."

"His and an oglop's. Wait." Her temples throbbed with the beginnings of a headache. She heard swords clanging outside in the arena, the shouts of battle and injury. Local tournaments took place on a regular schedule, and she grimaced at the words of such careless magic. Fire? Deep freeze? Only children of simple minds use such lackadaisical terms.

When she heard a clear 'Defend!' she dropped her head in her palm. "Someone out there requires a tutor."

"Pretty sure the kid trained under Merlin for awhile." As soon as the dark lord said the infamous 'M' word, he realized how dire a mistake he made. The pretty fae brightened in the room, despite his black decor. "Hey now, whoa now, settle down."

"Merlin," she smiled, standing. "If anyone can assist me, it's him. One mage to another." She hiked up her skirts and ran once again.

Hades blinked. "Mage? Huh, aren't you old-school." The scent of earth magic suddenly left his presence, and he saw the female run out his office door. "Now wait a minute! Get back here!"

Lady Hilda took a brief second to pause in the sunshine and soft breeze. A boy with wild brunette hair scampered about in the arena, his weapon curiously key-shaped. His companions, loud-mouthed and colourful, brought a chuckle to her lips. If she had more time, she'd take the lad aside and give him a more thorough tutorial on magic and its abilities. However, a warden needed locating.

"Where do you think you're going to go, sweetheart?" Hades called after her. He caught her in the lobby beside the trophies. "The worlds are broken and scattered, and it's not easy to jump between them."

Sephiroth leaned quietly against a pillar, watching. Always watching. A knowing pair of eyes made contact with the fae's, then flitted over to a massive ship parked outside the gates. It didn't quite seem possible, but the soldier's grin was both helpful and maniacal. Hilda nodded her thanks before making her final escape.

"Hey, hey, hey! Don't even think it! You can't fly that gummi ship!"

Hilda waved from the cockpit, a recognizable laugh escaping her throat. It was suspicious; it was cunning; it was -

"You hear? Do you hear that? You even have the evil laugh! Not as good as mine, but get back here woman!" A separate dark chuckle interrupted his tirade. "Sephiroth! Do me a favor and chase after her!"

The soldier politely declined. "That's not in my contract."

Hades really needed to read through all the contracts himself before requiring his warriors to give up their John Hancocks. He swore on his mother's life - wait, no - poor word choice considering the man still leaning against the pillar. He instead swore on his late uncle who sat on the farthest limb of the most decayed tree in existence. To be more accurate, swung from his neck by a rope. Zeus purposefully let him hang for no good reason or another.

"Where'd my ship go?"

Sora glanced around the arena lobby, his companions constantly on his trail. No matter where the boy went, the duck and the ... hm, Hades never figured out what the other comrade was ... followed him like a puppy fresh from the pound with a new master. One with a giant sword shaped like a key.

"Grand theft gummi, kid. Kick back and grab something to eat. You might be here awhile." The flames on his head lost their fiery dance. "Hey, wasn't I supposed to get a drink? Where'd that end up?"


End file.
